ASTROJOKE
語言:
English
Photo credit: Brian Hioe
Keywords (Prologue)
Eroticism only includes a domain marked off by the violation of rules. It is always a matter of going beyond the limits allowed: there is nothing erotic in a sexual game like that of animals…So it is a matter of passing from the licit to the forbidden. Man’s sexual life developed out of the accursed, prohibited domain, not the licit domain.
—(Bataille 1991, 124) [1] [2]
REGARDING JAPANESE photographer, contemporary artist Nobuyoshi Araki, I will discuss how the latecomers—Ren Hang, the Chinese photographer, and Manbo Key, Taiwanese photographer influenced by Araki, reenact his transgression but at the same time create something novel. [3] This leads to a concept of provoking queerness stemming from the current political background that differs from Araki’s political background.
Araki’s photography incorporates erotica and pornography. In his first few years of career, Araki published more than twenty books in one year, trying to make photography more like a photo diary. Those photo albums included his personal sex life and love life, and also represented his passion, curiosity, and relentless quest for death and sex. Araki created or recreated concepts such as “I Photography”（私寫真、私攝影）, “I Novel”（私小說）, “Pseudo-Diary”(偽日記), he passed his passion through artworks to the public. [4] Araki has a direct and clear idea of photographs, that photography is his life, and he thinks the fountain of life comes from women and sex. He also directly captured his wife’s corpse and many photos that relate to death. No matter if it is intentional or accidental, he paves the way for subsequent artists who are eager to expose their personal sentiments and lives to the public–better still, an encouragement of transgression and queer life.
The personal values, sentiments, idiosyncrasies of an artist, or his/her private experiences related to transgression are necessary for the basis of their inspiration, especially when the subjects of artwork contain nudes, or pertain to intercourse, sexual behavior, sexual relationships, death, and gender. It is because those subjects are the direct carriers and manifestations of personal values, sentiments, idiosyncrasies, and factual experiences. This is most unlike a rose representing love or depending on “psychogeography” in the sense that assumes an elegant street causes a feeling of satisfaction. [5]
A dead body is dead literally; A father who has sex with different genders is a normality based on transgression already; A flamboyant transgender person looking at the screen is queer already; A frog jumps in an old pond, then that’s the sound of water. Under the diverse subjective interpretation of artists, there will be different representations of transgression. The labels such as erotic, pornographic, obscene, gender-fluid, gender-confusion, forbidden fruit, and sin are also subjective to the audiences and critics. [6]
Whether Ren Hang, Manbo Key, and Nobuyoshi Araki, they go against traditional social norms, stigmatization, and moral standards. This is similar to the definition of Georges Bataille’s transgression–transgressing the status quo of social norms or mainstream hegemony to develop their own queer lifestyles and artworks. Most importantly, they are the living proofs, manifestations of their own artworks, and are honest to their true selves, via true self, bodies and their intertwined art media (photography, painting, DJ-ing, fashion, lifestyle, sex, death, and love) as media and carrier to embody a fragmented, thoroughly self-determined queer trajectory that allows for progressive contextualization and cross-contextuality. [7] [8]
Queer is an identity within a subjective agency. Queer transcends all sexual behaviors and gender expressions, all concepts linking such to prescribed, associated identities, and their categorization into “normal” or “deviant” sexualities or gender, are constructed socially and generate modes of social meaning. The notion of queer follows and expands feminist theory by refusing the belief that sexuality and gender identity are essentialist categories determined by biology that can thus be empirically judged by fixed standards of morality and reported truth. Nonetheless, it is more than self-identity or gender identity, but an identity which deconstructs the preceding mechanisms of power and cultural logic. It also represents people who are self-occupied in a marginal, alternative subcultural scene and refuse to be assimilated by mainstream culture, adhere to their own alternative character, and at the same time embrace assimilation and do not pursue cultural hegemony. Queer explores the logic and presentation of power/culture in which they operate together automatically, the mechanism of the knowledge/power linkage, and the possibilities of differences and alliances. In this regard, we will also explore how Araki and Manbo reenact the power of queer in a gender sense, and as deconstructive trailblazers
This essay undertakes a cross-contextual methodology, in order to fully and wholeheartedly understand Key’s trajectory and how he was affected by the context of previous events—Araki’s artworks.
Scene 1: Father’s Videotapes x センチメン タルな旅 : In the Order of Daily Life Passing Lightly, I Feel Something Subtle
NOBUYOSHI ARAKI poses certain parallels to Manbo Key. [9] The work of both features a kind of passive and natural documentary. They are both passively drawn or even haunted by the targets who are intimate and love– what their loved ones gave them, they take it meticulously and reenact the essences of loved ones in mediums ranging from videotape, cassette, and photography.
Manbo traced and tracked his father for twenty years, during the creation of Father’s Videotapes, he was still in a status quo that made him confused and afraid of talking with his father regarding his sex tapes or father’s “abnormal sexual behavior”. Walking down the long memory lane with their father, even exhibiting his father’s secret letter, sex life, and their raw dialogue, Manbo subconsciously and at the same time consciously shows his uncertain complex feelings in seeking the reasons why his father did that to himself and to Manbo, this shows his indirect, subtle interaction with father. [10] But it is only through the tangible and factual mixed media that father left or recreated by Key that he can manifest the conflict between his internal dialogue and the social gender norms.
During the making of Father’s Videotape, which lasted for almost twenty years starting from 2013, this shows a process of a loop of passive reenactment. [11] To reenact means acting out or a repetition of a past event or situation. If you re-enact an event, you try to make it happen again in exactly the same way that it happened the first time, often as a way to help people remember certain facts about an event. In the reenactment, according to Jennifer Allen, the audience becomes a witness in whose eyes “the original event becomes historical by taking up time, and claims its status as history by appearing as a discrete event with a finite duration. In other words, the reenactment makes the event an origin, giving it a definition and an identity that it may not have had for itself. Thus, reenactment aims to turn the shapeless continuity of our chaotic past into a discrete and well-defined experience, for which only repetition and a new reading can provide a possible meaning. But in this process history should not be viewed as closed and prescriptive; as it was for Benjamin, history is a field of possibility, in which not only the future but even the past is constantly re-written (and this is particularly manifest in Rod Dickinson’s work.)
The reason why Manbo called his exhibition “Father’s Videotapes” is because while Manbo was still a teenager, eighteen years ago, he unintentionally found a videotape from his dad’s box of gay porn, and watched his father’s sexual videotape using a V8 camera. At this juncture, Manbo felt “A shock of transgression of life logic”.
This also combines with the experiences before he found the sextape: Once on the new year holiday, the sound of sex emanated from his father’s room. Although Manbo has already known the true self of his father and his father knew he was exposed, they didn’t officially talk about this topic. Starting from that moment, he explored his interests in sex and paved the path walking next to his father to try and feel what his father feels.
Photo 1 by Manbo
In Manbo’s eyes, his father was always a drifting (流流漂漂) person. He somehow leads a bohemian life as a maverick. His caretaker was his grandmother, his mother gave birth to him and then left home. His mother also hung out with other lovers when she was with his dad, having other two children.
In the beginning, he was always noticed and gossiped about by the neighborhood. Folks were curious about his sexuality and predilection, whether he was abnormal or not. In this situation, Manbo intended to keep his mouth shut, so he studied so hard in high school, feeling like the academy could make him satisfied, proving he was normal. Manbo and his father’s relationship was bad before he started the art project related to his father.
He blamed his father: “Why did you give birth to me? Why am I an illegitimate child? Why are you such a kind of person? How can I face the gaze of other people? How can we communicate? What do I really desire? Does it depend on you? Are you abnormal?” Conversely, Manbo resonated with the sense of Bataille’s transgression: “When I was in high school, One time, I saw a man directly walking into my house and into my father’s room. Actually, it is not the first time but that moment struck me most. That time I could hear the sound from them, and the whole order and logic were interrupted. However, to be honest, more than shocking, I felt excited. The more forbidden, the more desirable.” This is the law of Bataille’s transgression working through Manbo’s life.
Photo 2 by Manbo
Manbo’s own interpretation goes like this, “When I saw the sex magazine (Photo 1) from my dad, it marked that it was prohibited. Thus, I know in their era they are trying to overcome some obstacles and were dealing with their sentiments.” “I put some hints in my exhibition...People who understand will understand them. For instance, this censored letter with the stamp on it. (Photo 2) It represents something in a particular era that needs to be reflected on. Someone saw this letter and resonated with it saying they had received the same letter with a stamp. When teachers saw this stamp they were shocked and doubted what my family did. This is the status of me hesitating saying things I can say or not…”
Manbo developed his own interpretation of events based on first-hand, historical material from father, rendering a novel reading with a discrete perspective. But paradoxically, they were companions from the start.
NEURASTHENIA GAVE Ren Hang a reason to rely on photography and art, as a means of a projection about subtle feelings that always passively drove him to transgress the stereotype. He enjoyed staying in his room and exploring different masterpieces online. Noise and the outdoors made him nervous, as he always abruptly blacked out in the subway. In the documentary “I have got a little problem“ by Xi-ming Zhang, Ren Hang’s subtle feelings in the order of daily life are shown.
Photos 3 and 4 by Ren Hang, Robert Farber
The censorship in Beijing is the drive of his photography. “My photos have nothing to do with politics. They are deeply related to China and Chinese culture.” He told the publisher TASCHEN, “I don’t deem my work as something forbidden because I seldom consider cultural and political backgrounds. I am not willing to break through something. Just doing something I think is right.” Thus, the “subtle” feeling in which this world made him anxious and the political status quo of China were excluded deliberately by Ren Hang himself. He was always under a suffocating tyranny but he didn’t confess this. He blamed it on himself,
Photo 5: McGinley (left), Ren Hang (right)
Neurasthenia was an excuse to indulge in an art world constructed by other artists but not him. In
“I have got a little problem”, Ren always claimed “When all of us don’t talk about freedom, then this is freedom.” “Being naked and taking those being called illegal, immoral, abnormal sex photos are just normal. I am using pornography and sex as a tool to express that those things are normal.” He was trying his best to deny, overlook, and cover the actual unfair censorship practices everywhere in China. That’s why his subtle sentiment is unsound, indifferent and paradoxical.
Photo 6: Red note from Ren Hang 2021 TASCHEN, owned by ASTROJOKE
Unlike Manbo and Araki, they are really dealing and facing the targets equally. Trying their best to reenact their selective targets in different styles in different timelines. They recognize and are aware of the truth that the wife is dead, the father is mysteriously troublesome but I have deep feelings for them so I will manifest them equally with some of my subjective in it to make it colorful and poetic. They can see through their own context, and get into the context of their targets.
Photo 7, 8, 9: “I have got a little problem” by Xi-ming Zhang. 2017. Screenshot by ASTROJOKE via Giloo)
Ren Hang was unable to do that as his subtle sentiment is unsound and decontextualized. Brought with his naive notion that merely using a subject itself to disobey the subject itself (as seen in his juxtaposition of conceptual sex vs stereotypical sex), his whole works were eventually limited and haunted by the thing he detest most: hegemonic and symbolic sex. That’s why he concluded that he had nothing to do with transgression, creativity, reenactment and more, disavowed the vitality and concept of himself and his works.
Photo 10: 登曼波於2022年5月的「在地實驗計劃論壇」中分享的創作心得。
Scene 2: The Secret of a Transgression of Queer: Intimacy
I drink from your slit
And I spread your naked legs
I open them like a hook
Where I read what kills me,
— (Bataille, translated by Hollier 157
GEORGE BATAILLE undertook transgressive writing like other surrealists. It is also a kind of écriture corporelle. [12] This kind of writing can return to the Marquis de Sade, who is the pioneer using erotism as a starting point in the transgression of social norms social norms.. This kind of transgression is more than giving a new reading of the body or overthrowing the traditions culture. Through the process of transgression, the words we intertwine with sexual pleasure, and the fantasy of specific objects are all due to the existence of an object that is close to us physically or psychologically. [13]
In other words, we must be intimate with someone, something, related to it/him/her/they, the motivation drives us directly to write, capture, record, draw, and touch them. Intimacy at the same time allows for the communication of subtle and ambiguous feelings to outsiders and insiders. Araki’s string of Yoko’s intimate photos in “Sentimental Journey“ (Photo 11) reflects a secret and desirable eye to the audience, but to Araki, it may be something warm, horny, or bittersweet. This could be one of the charming elements that manifest intimacy
Yoko and Araki had undergone a long trip. the tired and vulnerable gesture curled up on the boat is Yoko, like a baby curled up in the womb on a starry night, returning to an original primitive state. All these things seem trivial and ordinary in the eyes of others, or are maybe something dirty, weird, abnormal? His attitude towards sex in his works is an attitude towards nudity which is natural. He never treats the body or any sexual, intimate interactions as potentially cringeful, without even a tool or sign like Ren Hang to tell audiences that I am going to break the rules.
Photo 11:センチメン タルな旅 by Nobuyoshi Araki & Yoko Araki, 1971
Araki has a fondness for “female nudity” and has the courage to try to establish relationships with women to learn more about their bodies. In “Sentimental Journey”, Araki focuses on Yoko’s nudity in various spaces, and it happens that through the different states of nudity, Yoko is under different emotions and raw states. The finished state (their natural state) of his objects in photography is because he is inside the body of the object. He, the camera, and woman are having “3P”, a collective work. They as one and reflect on what their relationship really is. Araki never switches the lens. It is part of the camera, part of his body. If we realize the lens, what is inside us, we notice ourselves. But if we are intimate with ourselves, taking photos, we won’t notice the camera.
As we are already in the camera. Araki will move his own body forwards or backward to approach targets. To him, photography and art must connect his body. When he captures and approaches targets, he focuses on how to communicate with targets like telling her how the way she is beautiful through his whole body standing in front, close to the targets. When Araki saw three old ladies with a toddler, he felt bliss. Then, he focused on saying hello and expressed his gratitude, at the same time putting his camera up to his eyes to capture this. This whole smooth gesture without the consideration of composition, as when we start considering how to determine a whole picture, we hesitate in putting three people in or two people in or also include the tree.
The queerness of Araki is his trailblazing intimacy with women and other targets as you like, the willingness and wonder of connecting art and life with love, passion, and genuine unity. It is not like the 1950s new wave photographic association VIVO with Narahara Ikkō and 細江英公..and others, The way of having direct feeling , developing and expressing intimacy to the lovable object teaches Ren Hang and Manbo Key to transgress. That is the magic, the transcendence, the queerness with which Araki inspired Manbo and Ren: intimacy and subtle feeling.
Photo 12: 遠い場所の記憶：1951 – 1966 by 川田喜久治 VIVO
With the cultural background in Berlin, Mambo’s transgression and flamboyant style of queerness is filled with the sparkle of Paris is Burning 1990. [14] As he is now fulfilling the expectations of Taiwan’s contemporary art scene, critics, awards, museums that must have a reasonable , contextual trajectory to express his queerness and art, along the lines ofof a grand narrative.
More, it is willful that Manbo tries to bring the drag queen, the queer scene of Berlin or other foreign countries into Taiwan in a balanced or hegemonic way. He once said Taiwan has no personal and unique queer history and context, he wants to develop it by his art and the community he has. But at the same time this poses foreign queer text as superior to Taiwan.
In a nutshell, this essay writing is a profound trip for me. The uncertainty of Taiwan’s queer art context and the fluid definition of queer motivates me to redefine and trace the ecology of queer-ness in Asia. The context of queer history and its definition in Asia is uncertain, unlike Western countries they can already create a hegemony of queer. After all, many queer scenes ranging from ballroom, club DJ, film, and drama, can strangely stress boundary making. Boundaries identify who is and who is not a member of the group. By emphasizing differences between activists and the rest of society, boundaries indicate the in-group and the out-group or the “us and the them”.
This leaves me with a question of inclusion and exclusion. How are these boundaries formed? Who counts as the in-group and who counts as the out-group? And how does this drawing of boundaries affect the consciousness of the group? There can be a stress on superficial beauty in queer communities which, too, is gatekeeping. But more than that, It is about the core values that you hold and not only manifest physically. In this regard, I aim to suffuse Taiwan with a sense of ingenuity and transgression —-the queer power to deconstruct any forms of hegemony and power mechanisms. This aspiration needs to be combined with a realization of what is reenactment, a smooth texture from passive or active. During this course of transformation, I have sought something new. See, that’s why I didn’t kill myself but make graffiti art, zines, experimental music and read Foucault to disgrace all form of tyranny!
Zone-Out (Curtain Call)
古池や
蛙飛びこむ
水の音
— (Matsuo Basho, 1686)
[1]「transgression 「踰越」，是喬治．巴代耶（Georges Bataille 1887- 1962）情色論中重要的概念之一。泛指超脫一般社會習俗規範或主流霸權論述的脫序、逸軌思想或行為。譬如， 個人要生存或社會要順利運作與發展，有賴此個人或社會之組成份子遵守一套合乎「理性」的遊戲規則；此規則基本上是以增加生產、累積財富、保存生命為原則。就這個角度而言，巴代耶踰越的觀念指的是個人或群體在某些場合──如性行為、列車上、或學術討論會－－ 中違反此一「理性」原則之脫軌經驗。踰越乃依附限制或禁忌而生。禁忌與踰越的關係。就如神聖與褻瀆的關係一般，是相當弔詭的。在宗教中，神聖代表的是令人敬而遠之、不可侵犯的禁忌，然而神聖／禁忌的事物雖令人敬畏恐懼，但同時卻也在人們心中激起一股欲踰越禁忌一窺真相、一探究竟的衝動。 愈是聖的，愈屬於禁忌的、可衝破的，所以愈能激起慾望。中文讀者可參閱蔡淑玲教授在〈巴岱儀的否定與踰越〉一文中的精采剖析。」
[2] 在《愛神的眼淚》中，巴代耶進一步指明，人類情色和動物性行為之分野在於前者特具之「邪惡」（diabolical）性質。 在此「邪惡」意味著性與死亡的結合（Bataille 1989, 24）。基本上，巴代耶認為光是性行為尚還不足以構成情色；情色有時甚至不一定要和性行為有 關。對他而言，動物皆有性行為；但祇有人類懂得情色。在原始人類在從動物進化到人類時，巴代耶特別注意到人類的三項進化特徵： 一、開始懂得工作，二、對死亡產生意識，三、對性行為有了禁忌 （Bataille 1986, 31, 42）。人類為了生存必須從事生產工作，但死亡與性顯然有礙工作之進行，兩者遂逐漸成了禁忌；而在某一層意義上，情色 則起於對性禁忌的突破踰越。動物因對性百無忌憚，對死亦無意識，無須突破任何禁忌，故動物談不上情色。此外，巴代耶也認為婚 姻中沒有情色，因為他認為婚姻中的性行為，基本上是以傳宗接代為目的（至少教會主張如此），而情色卻是種不事生產、完完全全純消費的行為（nonproductive expenditure）。不同於一般理性的行為，情色基本上是種逸軌、脫序、踰越的現象。
[3] 巴黎的歐洲攝影之家(Maison Europeenne de la Photographie)在2019年3月展出任航的作品，是為回顧展。展覽前言寫著他曾受到過Terry Richardson以及荒木經惟的影響 / 楊登棋 (登曼波）整體的視覺語彙確實讓人不自覺地聯想到許多當代攝影大師的幽靈。無論是德國攝影家沃爾夫岡．蒂爾曼斯（Wolfgang Tillmans）的檔案運用與詩意編排、美國攝影家瑞安．麥克金利（Ryan McGinley）甜美夢幻的青春狂曲、英國攝影家理查．畢林漢（Richard Billingham）貼近記錄自己酗酒父親的陰鬱日常、日本攝影家荒木經惟的生死哲學與性徵隱喻等。無論作者有意或無意，《父親的錄影帶》都巧妙搓揉了上述的元素與創作方法。參自：沈柏逸 （2020）。本土同志身體與當代風格的幽靈：楊登棋作品《父親的錄影帶》。https://www.twreporter.org/a/photo-2019-taipei-art-awards-critique
[4] 他的「私寫真」企圖以公開、開放的方式建立關係，先是對拍攝對象開放，而後對大眾開放，在紀錄色情場所之作品裡，以一種「自傳體報導攝影」(autobiographical reportage)的「形式」，進入現場，然後自己化身為主角與性工作者玩樂，一同完成作品。參自：林宛瑾 阮芳賦 梁台仙 市原常夫 （2009）。從荒木經惟之「私寫真」論性與色情藝術創作。第33頁。
[5] 這裡說的是有生命力、踰越性的直接載體是身體、性愛、性別、死亡。因為主體的情感、切身經歷直接投射在他的身體、性愛行為包括荒木陽子的裸體、荒木兩人做愛的過程(如陽子幫他口交、高潮的表情)、陽子裸身在戶外及室內的靜態照、性別表徵如衣著、談吐、表情、風格、器官（如任航拍攝青檸跟菸頭插進友人陽具，直接表達陽具的敏感度和可塑性）以及最終的死亡狀態如荒木經惟拍攝亡妻陽子屍體。對比Guy Debord, ‘Introduction to a Critique of Urban Geography’, Knabb,p6–7需創立一個詞「心理地理學」去確保自己弱小的心靈難以單憑信念和自身體會去知道「各種環境與氛圍的組合可能性，產生出來給居民的主觀感，是類似於將純化學物質混合成無數種混合物，會產生與任何其他形式的奇觀所能喚起的不同和復雜的感覺。」。我們不需要先塑造一個客觀的感覺或刻意用宏大敘事、概念性的字詞去支撐起你的東西是獨一無二的普遍法則。它本來是這樣，當下即實相，玫瑰就是一種植物，不是愛情，存在是在未始有言之先的存在，而當人用語言說它，存在成為了話語所論定的對象物，不是存在的本身。
[6] 性的主觀性同時令「性藝術」（sexual arts）、一種因為內容或題材涉及性的作品被藝評界稱為藝術品。「性藝術」(sexual arts)的命名，在藝術領域置放在「情色藝術」(erotic art)或「色情藝術」(pornographic art)之內，藝術評論會因為創作態度、形式、風格的劃分，而劃分出寫實主義、印象主義、象徵主義、 現代主義、後現代主義等等，但鮮少因為內容或題材涉及性的，而稱之為性的藝術品，因為一件創作品的完成，創作者不必然只描繪了一種關係、投射單一情感，觀者也握有主觀的詮釋權，但無論是對於性的題材、表現方式，往往容易侷限在一個固執的觀點，亦即表達層次的「藝術性高低」，決定了這件作品被歸類在「情色」或「色情」領域，但兩者之間的分別也僅能解釋為風格上的差異，而非藝術性、藝術內涵、層次甚至道德的問題。關鍵處在於創作者發聲的慾望和力量。而站在性表達的立場，人人皆有權利藉著任何形式表達他對性的想法，但這隱約只是一種創作態度，而非針對創作天分與能力。參自：林宛瑾 阮芳賦 梁台仙 市原常夫 （2009）。從荒木經惟之「私寫真」論性與色情藝術創作。第34頁。
[7] 對應指導教授王聖閎提出的「現場b」——實際感受、閱讀、聆聽、碰觸之當下的具體情境和歷程。一個重要「現場」。與個人經驗緊密相連的這個「現場」，在這裡指藝術家以自身經歷、身體、性格、喜好、行為、感情連結作品，所呈現的是連貫的、一致的東西，取決於作者本身要從自己身上挖取什麼然後以什麼媒介投射那個「現場」出來。而體驗、體現、創作過程中所調動的感官模式就是以下會講的跨脈絡模式。
[8] 這裡說的是台灣作家陳瑞麟的跨脈絡（cross-contextual）對應任航、荒木經惟和登曼波在攝影作品中呈現各式各樣的人、對象物的故事脈絡下展現酷兒力量和凝聚一個有脈絡、相同氣息的文化溫層。例如「居家娛樂―楊登棋（登曼波）個展」（2022）中沙發椅與讓人圍觀的床架、父親與母親的回憶、黑白與彩色攝影、在自我與他人之間的情慾經驗，都是如展覽論述中所提到的，讓「家」與「性」並置論述。從父親的角度、看事情的方式、做過的事情，感受他的性格與所處的環境。同時，八位受訪者的群像，以及楊登棋認識的那些被視為酷兒認同的公眾人物齊聚在此，都是他跨脈絡，從過去已發生的事件的意義入手，進到脈絡裏，去理解一個事件在脈絡之下的意義，跨出自己的脈絡，去跨脈絡地理解他人的脈絡，再根據「跨脈絡」的「邏輯」，和他人溝通，引導他人進入自己的脈絡——形塑自身和他人所處的酷兒社群（community）縮影。
[9] 荒木經惟紀錄自己的生活、私生活、性生活去拍攝生命與死亡，一切他認為值得書寫在日記裡的事件，他以日記（日誌）的形式表達。攝影機是他的筆，也如他在《寫真的愛與情》所說「我的身體跟攝影基連在一起」的一致性，攝影是書寫，一幅幅相片則是記載影像的日誌。1970 年在任職的廣告公司出版第一本印刷攝影集之後，1971 年荒木和同事青木陽子(Yoko Aoki)結婚，出版他們的蜜月旅行攝影集《感傷之旅》。在這系列的作品裡，每一張都印有「日期」，這些最早由紀錄「自我」開始的作品，與日記的形式相同，在於「我」想要說話，在自由文體的形式下，沒有謹慎的鋪陳也沒有嚴格設計的結尾，任憑生活經驗的直覺與感受，片斷、切割、瑣碎，並且處於進行中、滾動的時態。像是為了捕捉每一刻而按下快門。荒木跨越「藝術作品」或「攝影作品」的僵化印象，大部分人對印有日期的照片等同於普通照片，而「作品」則必須有別於此，並且一般的攝影作品更多注意的是空間、 構圖的元素，但他卻有不同的看法: 「在我看來，時間的概念更重要。隨著快門的開啟，時間被凝固下來，作為「此時此刻」的記錄是不可重複的，也就成為永遠」
[10] 登曼波在2022年5月的「在地實驗計劃論壇」中分享他的創作心得，均呈現出他是在小心翼翼、一知半解、旁敲側擊、被動地吸納父親給他的歷史物件、真實經歷，從中提煉材料質感。他提到在進行「父親的錄影帶」計劃時，「在北美館的版本其實只有我父親的肖像是非常的鮮明，就是有他整個人出現，其他都是背影或者是私交的或是很抽象的符號。當時也要放置了一些物件但那些物件也沒有被整理得像有線索去閱讀它，是很碎片式的，不能很完整的知道它背後細節是什麼。例如父親有本雜誌是有裸露的男體的，我偶然看到才發現噢原來那時候有一些人在克服一些事情，或是正在處理他們的欲望。」從在父親則旁感受的空間感、時間流動，帶到展覽的空間內，由展覽空間和歷史物件（及手物）達致海德格的物體跟區域的關係（及手物體現出方位（place）；手前物體現出位置（position），即此有，因此，體現出空間（開闢空間）。而常人（the they）如何理解世界?及手性的方式、手前性的方式其實端賴於我們如何理解。為何理解總是把握可能性?海德格認為，這是由於理解的特殊結構—籌劃。）「我的展覽示意圖是讓各作品各自座落，在一個空間中做到有節奏性，或是閱讀方式是可以從這個空間有時間性地去觀看這些東西」「父親的錄影帶時間序拉很長，像是2013帶他去看醫生，一直到有次我帶他一起去公投，在路上會問你會投什麼，其實有很多東西沒有講到裡面但我也不覺得要說那麼清楚。然後在醫院我跟他錄影跟對話問他你知道這個事情已經通過了嗎？他不知道，但很想知道。並給我一個感覺他在消化」
[11]《父親的錄影帶_碧兒不談》是楊登棋（登曼波）進行超過10年的計畫，時間回到90年代，因為發現父親的自拍錄影帶，無法避免地也發現了父親的性傾向，而隨之開啟的一連串對於「父親」角色的重新理解──不管是作為個體的或是社會定義上的。 透過攝影、錄影、物件與裝置去試圖追溯、理解或重現他與父親之間的關係。延續先前作品《父親的錄影帶 Father’s Video Tape》，在《碧兒不談》中，楊登棋（登曼波）從個人的經歷出發，回望世代間的轉變與跨越，曼波從台北多元的酷兒生活圈中，是如何各自以自己的方式建構出自我的認同，以影像、裝置將展覽編輯成為一系列影像詩歌，以不同篇章紀錄一群不被主流所見，甚至被迴避直視的群體。《父親的錄影帶 Father’s Video Tape》於2019年獲臺北美術獎首獎，《父親的錄影帶_碧兒不談》創造了跟前作《父親的錄影帶》，彼此兩個作品關係的視覺性伏流，也同時是歷史未揭露的故事，更凸顯了談與不談的表演政治與未來的行動。有關從《父親的錄影帶 Father’s Video Tape》到《父親的錄影帶_碧兒不談》的創作理程，參閱pic 10由登曼波於2022年5月的「在地實驗計劃論壇」中分享的創作心得。
[12] 全名唐納提安．阿爾馮斯．佛朗索瓦（Donatien Alphonse François）的薩德侯爵，出生於1740年6月2日，因為他在耶穌會寄宿學校就曾被鞭打處罰，因此他自小就熱衷於鞭笞。他在自己的文學作品裡就生動地表述了自己對於鞭打、性暴力的熱忱，因此也出現了「薩德主義（Sadism，性虐待之意）」這個詞彙：透過加諸在他人身上的痛苦而性慾高漲的性心理異常。
[13]「我把你信上的沙弄到嘴上去了。」少年維特將愛慕對象夏綠蒂送給他的信上面的沙弄到嘴裡。看信時親吻夏綠蒂寫的字。意指在對象不在時，為對象做事（做關於他的事）如寫字、畫畫、自瀆、攝影時思慕、幻想對象所對自己或實在物的行為，投射於整個現場。
[14]《巴黎在燃燒》是由珍妮·利文斯頓執導的1990年紀錄片。它拍攝於1980年代中後期，記錄了紐約市以及與之相關的非裔美國人，拉丁裔，同性戀和變性人社區的球文化。評論家認為這部電影是一部關於紐約市“黃金時代”終結的無價紀錄片，並且對美國的種族，階級，性別和性取向進行了深思熟慮的探索。值得注意的是，本片為酷兒世界、文化帶來關鍵定義和話語領域如:Ball/ball room,字面意思就是舞會。但這裡指的是80年代在美國黑人同志社區興起的一種活動，人們聚集在一起來「比賽」，比賽分為幾個 category （類別），的內容有走秀、舞蹈等，並選出當晚的獲勝者。Realness,字面就是「真實/本身」，是走秀的一部分。比如 school realness, 意思就是服裝的主題要極力體現「學校」這個主題，你可以穿成學生、教師，總之，要「真實」。常見的主題有 town and country realness (鄉村主題)，military realness (軍裝主題)，executive realness (職場精英主題)等。 House,即「家」，但不是真實的家，是由一個創始人創辦的團體，通常在 Ballroom 里，會有來自不同的 house 之間進行比賽，個人的輸贏關乎 house 的榮耀。如果想加入某個 House, 則需要在 ball 上拿到獎盃之後，帶著榮耀加入到某個 house.在八九十年代的紐約，相當一部分同志被父母拋棄，或者本身就是無家可歸，他們在 house 中獲得同僚們都支持，無論是物質上的還是精神上的，讓他們有一種極大的歸屬感。 目前仍然在活躍的 house 有十多個，著名的就有 LaBeija, Ninja. 在本章，我會刻意用日常字詞去避免這些脈絡化、具文化意識的定義。